Episode 12: Battlefield

Ang nakaraan sa Rainbow Connection...

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Two sweaty bodies dancing in one rhythm. Up. Down. Up. Down. Wala silang paki sa makakating dayami na dumikit na sa kanilang mga katawan. Nasa stable sila ng kabayo. As usual si Freddie Silver ang top, ang aking favorite porn star. He is my hero kapag may gabing tigang at kapag tinatamad akong lumabas. Just like tonight. Sa film na pinapanood ko, bottom niya ang twink na si Grey Wilson. Nakatuwad si Grey at nakakapit sa gate ng stable habang finafuck siya ni Freddie. Parang wala nang bukas ang kanilang pag-ungol. I can't help it. My hand is also in one rhythm, up. Down. Up. Down. The lotion heightens the sensation.


Up. Down. Up. Down goes Freddie.
Up. Down. Up. Down dances my hand.

I can hear Freddie's moans. That orgasmic scream......

Fuck. It's like a singing trio, Freddie, Grey and I moaned in unison reaching the heavenly climax!

Freddie's man juice is all over Grey's asshole while mine was all over my tummy. Shet na malagket. Slight akong nagpahinga habang pinapanood ang dalawa. Freddie hugged Grey from behind and hihiga sila sa dayami at magcucuddle as I get a tissue from my bedside. Oo. Kung ang iba may emergency medical kit sa kuwarto nila, ako may masturbation kit na ready: lotion, alcohol at tissue.
Pinunasan ko ang aking dick load casually at nagpahid ng alcohol after.

Muli kong ibabaling ang aking atensiyon sa porn. Ibang eksena na, syempre ang favorite ko pa ring si Freddie pero this time sa iba namang partner, kay Brando Hulk, parehas silang macho at semikalbo,  naka-fatigue din sila at nasa barracks. I went to the trash bin para itapon ang aking tissue. My phone vibrates on my bed...

It's Cassandra.

"I'm excited babe. Actually tumitingin na ako sa mga wedding magazines para sa peg ng gown."

Ikakasal na kami and tonight is actually my farewell to my love, Freddie Silver...

***

Fuck that guy na nagtext sa'kin nung nag-CR ako. Talk about wrong timing. Cassandra confronted me right then and there. Bakla ka ba?

No point of denying. Im caught in the act. Fuck that shit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I was thinking of any alibi, as lame as wrong sent levels, pero alam kong hindi naman tanga si Cassandra. Gets na niya at fuck her dahil alam niyang magagamit niya ito against me dahil alam din niyang hindi ako out sa aking pamilya.

Edgar, kahit ano ka pa, I still love you. I will accept you for who you are..

How nice of the bitch...

...but I know hindi magugustuhan nina Tito at Tita kapag nalaman nila ang tunay na pagkatao mo...

Fuck you.

...marry me and your secrets will be safe.

I will not marry a monster!

Wala akong nagawa. That night, we planned our proposal. Yes. How pathetic. Kunyari isusurprise ko siya sa family dinner namin with a diamond ring na siya mismo ang pumili. Syempre tuwang tuwa naman sina Mom and Dad nung tinanong ko si Cassandra ng Will you marry me?, Finally. This is the best thing that I ever did daw ever. Fuck. And I watched my soon to be bride, with tears of joy in her eyes, hindi daw niya inexpect ito. Nasurprise talaga siya and sinabi niyang yes she will marry me. Naiyak si mom. Niyakap siya ni Dad. Kinilig ang mga kapatid ko. We hugged. Buti na lang nagtheater ako nung college, ang galing kong umarte na ang saya saya ko nung gabing yun while Cassandra is shedding her crocodile tears...

Green said, it's the end of the world dahil daw sa engaged na kami ni Cassandra at magkaaway pa sina Ram at David. I was torn. Ayaw kong kumampi sa kahit na kanino besides I have my own battles...

Just like these two soldiers sa TV screen, nasa shower room na sina Freddie at Brando, handa na sa giyera dahil parehas nang nakatayo ang kanilang mga manoy. Freddie kisses Brando torridly, their tongues in a sword fight.

***

Somewhere in Quezon City, naghihintay si David sa labas ng pad ni Ram. Masaya dahil pinapunta siya ni Ram sa place nito. Finally, magkakayos na sila. He needed a friend that night dahil hindi pa rin siya makarecover sa pagpapahiya sa kaniya ni Joko sa party. Pagbukas ng pinto, abot langit ang ngiti niya, handa nang yakapin ang kaibigan. Pero Ram is not smiling then isang box ang ibibigay ni Ram at mabilis na isasara ang pinto.

Hindi na nakapagsalita pa si David, pagtingin niya sa loob ng box, makikita niya ang mementos nila ni Ram noong college. Makikita ang mga letters, pictures at ilang trinkets nila ni David from college doon sa box. Parang nakipagbreak sa boyfriend ang gago. Hindi niya matanggap ang ginawa sa kaniya ni David. Alam naman nitong ayaw niyang pinagsisinungalingan. Nagkausap sila ni Mark. Hindi pa rin sinabi ni Mark sa kaniya ang dahilan. Bwisit na bwisit si Ram. He thinks that people are ganging up on him.

David gets the message, Ram is waging a war. That night, David felt defenseless, he can't help it but cry. Hindi na lang niya namalayan, nasa pinto na pala siya ng bahay ni Neil at pagkalabas nito sa gate, isang passionate kiss ang binigay ni David. It was so explosive, they did it outside at ang nakaparadang kotse ang kanilang shield. David gave it all, he needed him that night... When Neil lips touched his, David felt everything will be alright again...

***

Pero ibang digmaan ang pinaghahandaan ni Green. Sabi nga ni Pat Benatar, Love is a Battlefield at hindi pa rin sumusuko si Green sa labang ito sa kanila ni Nikko. That virgin, umaasang si Nikko pa rin ang kaniyang unang lalaking matitikman. Well it looks like mangyayari ito because despite what is happening with my life at sa pagitan nina Ram at David, something positive ang nakikita ko sa aking facebook feed dahil masaya si Green. Because David and Ram are in not-speaking-terms right now at baliw na baliw ako sa aking fiancé, Green and Nikko spend more time than ever. If I'm not a good friend, I'll just burst his happy bubble and attack him with negativity para madisarmahan siya.

But of course... he deserves to be happy.

And I deserve to be happy too right? I think that happiness will happen kung hindi malalaman nina Mom and Dad ang totoo at kung mapapasaya ko sila sa desisyong magpakasal kay Cassandra...

When Freddie came inside Brando, pinindot ko na ang stop button. I ejected the DVD inside the player at nilagay sa isang kahon. Sa box nakalagay ang aking gay porn magazines na binili ko pa online at yung iba during family travels abroad with my collection of M2M DVDs, mostly Freddie Silver starrers. Something or someone or whatever is telling me not to do this. Well whoever he or she or it is, wala na siyang magagawa. This is my life and this is my happiness.

In order to be truly happy, kailangang magsacrifice right?

Kaya sa likod bahay namin, katabi ng birds of paradise ni mom, binaon ko ang aking porn collection. Kasing bigat ng lupang dina-dump ko sa pit ang nararamdaman ko but I know this is the right thing to do. I know hindi basta bastang kalaban si Cassandra because she holds a secret weapon na kasing lakas ng atomic bomb kapag pinasabog niya. All I have to do is to be her ally and surrender...

Nilagay ko ang huling tipak ng lupa sa hukay...

Goodbye Freddie Silver....
You will always be my fucking hero.

***

Ano ang kahihinatnan ng ala shotgun wedding nina Edgar at Cassandra?

Dahil sa nangyari kina David at Neil, tinaas na nga ba ang white flag at magkakabalikan na sila?

Hanggang kailan kaya tatagal ang war on friendship nina Ram at David?

Mananalo na nga kaya si Green sa laban ng pag-ibig?

It's not yet over, more to come next week on
Rainbow Connection!